Cape Girardeau Roller Girls

Sylvia Smash

By day she writes, by night she fights

Sylvia Smash #1842

Hometown: St. Louis (home of ARRG!)
Birth date: October 2, 1985
Height/Weight: 5’10”/ heavy enough to knock you over

Derby DOB: February 21, 2010
Skate/Wheel/Socks: Riedell R3s/Flat Outs/Whatever I find on eBay
Favorite Position: Gettin’ low
Practice regimen: Packing a boxed lunch on skates
Derby Wife: Bobbie Soxxx!
Derby Heroes: Our big-sister leagues SIRG and RCRG
Favorite moments: Being stared down in public restaurants for bein’ rowdy
Song to skate to: “Cherry Bomb” by The Runaways
Why Derby?: because I like to hit on chicks & I try not to leave marks
Why this name and number?: The name is a riff on brilliant writer Sylvia Plath. I can only imagine what she could have done on eight wheels; her pen cuts deep enough as is. I was reincarnated from the year 1842. You think I’m joking?

Non-Derby Hobbies: Writing, editing, refreshing webpages
Bad Habits: falling on my ass instead of my knees
Drink of choice: Whiskey coke, pomegranate juice. Not mixed.
Turn ons: Geekiness, skates, cuddles, a good professor voice
Turn offs: Refusal to be “schooled,” not using a turn signal, general asshattery, poor grammar, quitters
Favorite quote: “You know why tonight’s fun? ‘Cause everyone is so gay. And they know how to have fun, and the DANCING… Everyone is just who they are, and who they are is stone cold gay.” – Leslie Knope, from Parks & Recreation

Photos from the gallery:

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